With tears now gone, I have no signal to the outside
That I am drowning on the inside
Breathing normal but my beats are skipping
No one can see that my heart is ripping
Feeling alone but I’m surrounded
My mind keeps drifting, I can’t stay grounded
Guess I’ll stay here for a while
Imagining your smile
I can feel your hugs and your warmth around me
Millions of people down here yet you’ve found me
I’ll stay in my thoughts as long as I need
Pretending I’m present since no one can see
Looks like I’m here but I’m with grief…
If you have lost someone you love while pregnant or during your journey of motherhood, please know that are not alone. You are allowed to feel sadness, loneliness, pain, anger, and any emotion that comes with your grief and still be a great mother to your babies. Allow yourself to be human even when it feels like you must be a superhero. Grief can feel very lonely so try to make sure you have a good support system or at least one person you can talk to when your to overwhelmed. You’re doing a great job, take one day at a time and everything is going to be okay. You got this mama!
Fall is here and it is truly one of my favorite seasons of the year. I love the weather change, the colorful leaves, and the smell of pumpkin spice in the air. Now that I have children, I want to get them on board with me with enjoying the seasons changing and looking forward to the different activities we can do together each season. I have a list of activities I plan to do with my little ones this fall and wanted to share to get you all in the fall spirit as well.
Fall paper crafts
My 2-year-old daughter Marley and I have already started our fall crafts and she is loving every bit of it. At first, I wasn’t sure how many crafts we could do together with her being so young, but these little people can really surprise you once you give them the opportunity to be creative. She has been asking me almost every day to do a new fall craft and honestly it doesn’t take much as long you have construction paper, glue, crayons, scissors, paint random items around the house like paper plates and toilet tissue rolls and you can get as creative as you wish together. If you need inspiration head over to any social media app and look for fun ideas to do together.
Go on a leaf hunt
The weather will start to get a little chillier but bundle up the kiddies and head outside for a leaf hunt. Get a basket or something to hold the leaves in and let your kids have fun collecting all the pretty colors they see. They will enjoy picking out their favorite leaves and collecting them.
Use fall leaves for crafts
If you decide to go out and collect some leaves you can use the leaves in different fall crafts by gluing them or stringing them onto different ideas. The kids will enjoy seeing the leaves they picked out displayed different ways and hanging them up will add to your fall home décor.
Jump in a pile of leaves
A very simple but fun thing to do for kids that they seem to love so much is raking the leaves together and letting them jump inside. They will love the sound the leaves make and enjoy throwing all the leaves up in the air. It’s a fun way to let them run out some energy and make a mess that you won’t have to immediately clean up.
Go apple picking
Living in upstate NY does have its perks when fall comes around because we have apple orchards to visit, if you don’t have one very close make a mini trip or adventure out of it. The kids will enjoy picking out their own apples and trying all the different flavors. The orchards also have delicious treats like apple donuts and fresh apple cider for your whole family to enjoy.
Go to a pumpkin patch
Visiting a pumpkin patch will be so much fun for the kiddies and really the whole family. You guys can pick out your favorite pumpkins and enjoy all the fun activities they will have to offer. They usually have hayrides, corn mazes and little games for the kids.
Bake fall treats
I must be honest my most favorite thing about fall is all the delicious fall themed treats. All the apple flavor, pumpkin flavor, cinnamon, and ginger it just makes me so happy. If you pick apples or pumpkins or even just purchase them from your local grocery store you can have a lot of fun baking treats with and for your kids. Social media has so many ideas to get creative with it. You can include them in on the decorating, like decorating pies, candy apples, cookies, smores and brownies and then sit down and eat your fun creations together.
Once you have your favorite pumpkins that you have picked either from the store or the pumpkin patch you and the kids can add silly faces or paint them and just be as creative as you wish with your pumpkins. You can also carve them into all different shapes and characters.
Make fall themed sensory items
Sensory items are a great way to help your child explore with sorting, touching, shaking, pouring and it helps them with their motor skills. Parents have been getting very creative with sensory play and you can even make it themed to whatever you like. Grabbing different items that remind you of fall and adding them to bins or bottles for them to learn and play with will be fun and help keep them entertained for a little while.
Rent a cabin
Finding a beautiful scenic cabin for your family during the fall time will be a nice way to get away, spend quality time together and enjoy some games, movie nights and fun fall foods.
Honestly camping is not my thing, but tents are. I love a good tent, so I plan to have camping themed nights right in the middle of my living room or on my back porch. During summer my daughter and I loved hanging out in our tent right in our back yard during the day. If you love to camp fall is an amazing time of the year to sit around a big fire, make smores and enjoy time with your kids and family.
Go on a scavenger hunt
The windy days of fall tend to push a lot of nature items all over the yards, take your little ones outside to hunt for pinecones, twigs, leaves, worms, watch birdies really whatever your littles are into!
Go fall shopping
Shopping for fall is one of my favorites because of all the layers there’s beanies, scarves, boots, booties, jackets, just so many options. It is one of the best times of year to me to get creative with layers and have fun matching all the colors. You get to purchase items that can transition to winter as well so you get double the seasonal shopping and more excuse to purchase things.
Hopefully this list gets you into the fall spirit and has you pumped to enjoy activities with your little ones this season! Have fun, tap into your creative side, make memories that will last and have a great fall!
Your little one or all your little ones are finally taking a nap! I don’t even think I can express in words the feeling of oh thank goodness a mom feels when her kiddies are napping peacefully. From the moment a mama wakes up to the moment she goes to sleep she is constantly doing something for her children, prepping something for her children or doing something with her children and for working mamas before their shift and after their shift they are most likely in mommy mode. Mommy mode is pretty much a full-time job. Before you have a kid one of the main sayings you hear is make sure you sleep when the baby sleeps, so that you try to catch up on at least some of the rest you’re missing but honestly many of us do not sleep during that time and use the kids napping as a way to get things done. Now that I have two children, I have learned very quickly that there are honestly just not enough hours in the day to get all the things I would want to get done so if I am not exhausted, I see it as a good time to be productive or not so productive, however I feel that day. Here ‘s a list of a few things I do and I’m sure a lot of other moms do when we have the free time.
Take a shower
Believe it or not moms miss showers. I know sounds gross but when you have little ones especially, sometimes you just don’t feel like a shower goes over other needs or things that you need to get done. If you have a small baby, you don’t want to leave them unattended and if you have a toddler and a little one your to terrified to leave them alone together. Sometimes you can be so busy cleaning, cooking scheduling appointments or chasing around your kids that you totally forget to shower. When those kids finally rest their eyes it’s the perfect time to grab your favorite soaps and bath or shower aroma therapy items and just enjoy a nice warm shower. Even it’s for a few short minutes it can really boost your mood and make you feel a lot better during the day.
Go to the bathroom
When you have kids, privacy becomes a thing of the past most of the time and most of the time when you go to the bathroom you have visitors. You don’t get to just handle your business in peace or it can be interrupted by a loud noise, cry or a little person asking you a million questions the whole time. So yep, mamas do use nap time to poo, sorry not sorry.
I have so many treats that I just don’t want to share sometimes but I always end up sharing. Well, when my 2-year-old is napping that is my chance to raid the kitchen and eat ice cream, chips anything I can enjoy in peace. Something about little greedy fingers not reaching for my snack just makes it taste so much better.
Watch TV or YouTube
My TV is mostly on fun educational shows and animated dancing shows all day so much that I can hear it when it’s not even playing so when I get the chance to turn it off and watch something with real humans it is such a treat. I use nap time to binge any shows I need to catch up on or look for stuff on YouTube to watch and enjoy.
Check social media apps
I love scrolling social media and cracking up at mom videos and internet news and drama when I get a moment of free time. It’s nice to be able to hear it and focus on the jokes. I also respond to any messages from friends or check the funny videos they sent me that I didn’t get chance to see yet.
Clean the house
When the kids are napping, I find this as a good time to sweep and mop the floors, do the dishes, do some organizing and just tidy up a bit. Kids are masters of making a mess in under 5 minutes and if you don’t try to tackle the messes daily things can really pile up. Whenever I try to organize stuff while my toddler is present most of the time, she is undoing whatever I’m doing, so I just give in and do something else.
Schedule appointments and pay bills
Once the house is quiet it gives me a chance make some calls without having to shh my toddler so it’s a great opportunity to handle any business. It can get frustrating trying to talk on the phone and baby is screaming or when you’re trying to use your laptop and your kiddie is trying to sit on your lap.
Pulling out any hobbies you have when you have some alone time is so good for your mental health. I usually am blogging while the kids are napping. Its hard to fit in the things that you love to do that are just for you when your so focused on your little ones, but it is so important to find or make the time.
Watches the kids sleep
I must say I am guilty of pulling out my phone and snapping pics and videos of my little ones resting peacefully. I swear it is one of the most precious moments and so sometimes you can catch yourself just staring at them with a big goofy smile on your face because your just so happy they are okay and that they are yours.
Do nothing at all
After being so productive all day and after being pulled so many directions in the day sometimes it’s nice to just do nothing. To literally just sit there in peace, thankful for peace and silence or just thankful for everything.
Drink coffee or wine
A nice coffee made just the way you love it or a nice, chilled glass of wine when you have quiet time can be amazing. Anything that you love to have, have it when the kids are resting it is beautiful.
If you are tired and you just want to nap too, take your nap, and enjoy it. Some days I am just to burnt out to do anything besides lay down and take a nap too. Being a mommy who is sleep deprived is rough and it just doesn’t help you be the best you can be for you or your kiddies. Take your opportunities to rest when you need to and don’t feel guilty about it at all.
Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs on the planet some days. Sometimes your just tired and you want to just curl up on the couch and watch an uninterrupted movie or you just want to take a long nap or long shower, but you can’t because your baby is screaming from a tooth coming in or your toddler is jumping all over you because they want your undivided attention. Some days it’s simply just overwhelming and you may feel yourself wanting to cry.
When you’re a mom everyday isn’t picture perfect, everyday isn’t crafts day or a trip to the zoo. Some days are just filled with mess after mess to clean, tantrum after tantrum to tend to and chores after chores. On those rough days when your exhausted its good to take a moment for yourself and say some affirmations, give yourself a pep talk and remind yourself that you’re doing an amazing job simply because you’re trying. Affirmations are one of the most powerful tools because they don’t take a lot of time and effort it just takes saying it enough so that you truly begin to believe the positive things you’re saying. I wanted to share a few affirmations to help you when you’re overwhelmed. I also want you to know that feeling overwhelmed is totally normal and you’re not alone at all.
I don’t have to be a perfect mom, there is no such thing.
I am doing the best I can, and my kids think I am more than enough.
I was chosen to be my kids’ mom for a reason, and I have all I need within to meet their needs.
I have a supportive group of people in my life that I can ask for help if I need it.
Every part of mom life is not easy, and it doesn’t have to be.
It’s okay to feel any of the feelings I feel today whether they are good or bad.
I am grateful to be a mommy.
I am strong and I am patient with myself and with my children.
I will focus on the parts of today that bring me joy no matter how big or small.
I will do something for myself today and not just for my family.
I deserve a break, and to have a nice rest to be a better me tomorrow.
I am providing a home for my children that is a safe space filled with happiness, love and understanding.
I will not compare myself to other moms I see on social media or to other moms I know.
I will not set expectations for the day to high.
Taking care of myself is the first step to being able to take care of my children.
One bad day does not define who I am as a mother or make me a bad mom.
Even during the most chaotic moments in my home there is so much love here.
I am choosing to be happy and spread happiness to my children.
It is okay for my kids to see that I have other emotions besides happiness sometimes.
My children know how much I love them.
I am a mommy but that is not all I am.
I will be present with my children and appreciate the time we share.
I am doing an amazing job taking care of my kids.
I don’t have to have all the answers just because I’m a mom.
I am growing and evolving as a mom every day.
I will only speak positively about myself.
I am setting an amazing example for my children.
My children are blessed to have such a loving and devoted mother.
I am the only one who can give my children a happy mom.
Any challenges I face are making me a stronger and wiser mother.
I have a very positive impact on my children’s life.
Feeling overwhelmed sometimes shows that I am only human and that I don’t have to do it all, all the time.
My children will appreciate the effort I put into raising them.
I am not the only mom who needs or wishes for help sometimes.
Acknowledging my overwhelm is the first step towards change and seeking help.
If you are unsure of what it means to feel overwhelmed it’s when you just feel defeated completely, like you are drowning in whatever life, or the day has brought you. It is not a fun feeling and a lot of moms honestly feel overwhelmed and defeated a lot if they are not nurturing themselves, if they are taking on too much in one day or week, not getting the help they need or the rest they need to be the best versions of themselves for their children. You could feel completely fine and then out of nowhere the burn out just consumes you. In that moment that is when it is helpful to find a safe and private space and say your affirmations. You can say them with your eyes full of tears or with a big smile, it does not matter. You can say them in your bathroom, in the shower, lying in bed, your car, your closet, anywhere.
Affirmations help to change any negative thinking patterns we may be having, and they can really help us see our situations from a different perspective. Choosing affirmations that resonate with you and your situation gives you this new belief system that you can basically just pull out of your pocket whenever you want as a simple reminder that you are worthy of positive thinking and a positive life. They are a simple way to keep us encouraged and to help us get over self- sabotaging. It’s very easy to get caught up in what we think we should be like as a mom or what we think we are lacking especially when we are overwhelmed with all our mommy duties.
Let this post today remind you that you are doing an amazing job as a mommy and feel free to use as many of these affirmations as you need, as often as you need to help pull yourself out of the overwhelm you are feeling. You are not alone in your feelings, and you deserve your me time to say your affirmations.
Once you become a mom it is very easy to get so lost in motherhood that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. You become super busy making sure your kid doesn’t need anything and one day you walk past the mirror and your like “Wow who is that?’’ You might have on a large graphic-tee your hair in a messy bun and even a stain on your shirt from when your kid splashed their drink on you at breakfast. It can be so easy to set our needs aside and not think about the things that once made us feel confident and happy with ourselves. Don’t worry you are still in there. The woman from before children is still in there and even though you are getting by day to day and making things happen for you and your family, the little things that bring you joy and confidence outside of all that are just as important. You deserve to feel confident and be proud of yourself. Being a mommy is apart of who you are of course but that’s not the only thing that makes you, you. If you’re struggling to think of ways to boost your self-esteem or haven’t even thought of it lately here is a list of things you can do to start working on boosting your self-esteem and bring yourself back to putting your needs as a priority.
1. Take care of your body
Make sure you are eating healthy foods, drinking your water, and getting the proper sleep that you need. If you are taking care of your body it is going to make you feel better and give you the energy you need to be motivated to do more things for yourself. When your preparing breakfast for your little one, take a banana for yourself too or drop it into a smoothie with some frozen fruit and milk or juice. You can drink your smoothie and prep breakfast for your kid at the same time. When you run to the kitchen to grab a snack for your kid grab a glass of water for yourself. You can even put a sticky note near the sink or on the fridge to remind you to drink your water. If getting all the sleep you need doesn’t seem like an option right now ask for help, if you have any help at all try to arrange ways to get some help so you can take a quick nap when you need to.
2. Practice positive self-talk
We can sometimes forget how powerful our words can be and how we can start to believe negative things that we say about ourselves. Anytime you catch yourself saying something negative about who you are as person or how you are as a mother or saying negative things about the way you look, make sure to stop yourself. Train yourself to be done with negative self-talk and only speak positively about yourself.
3. Challenge yourself to learn something new
As moms there is usually always something that we saw when we were scrolling on social media that we wish we could do. Find a post you recently liked where the person was doing something interesting to you and look it up and learn how to do it. It could be learning a new recipe, learning how to sew, craft or anything you think you might enjoy figuring out. Once you learn it, celebrate your new technique by rewarding yourself with something small. It always feels good to add on a new talent or skill and it makes us feel good about ourselves.
4. Read self-help books
Find a good self-help book that you can either listen to in your ears or read when you find some time alone. Self-help books can really help you with boosting your self- esteem. Take notes while you read if you can and try to write down any key take a way’s that you know you want to work harder on. You can also join book clubs to stay up to date with the best self-help books that are helping others.
5. Say your affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements we say to ourselves every day to take away self- sabotage. You can create these affirmations your self and have them cater to exactly what you feel you need to know and believe, or you can find them online. Try to say your affirmations every day either in the morning or at night or both if you have the time. Use them to uplift and motivate yourself as often as you need. For example, you can say statements like “I am exactly the mother my kids need me to be.” Or “Ï will make myself a priority.”
6. Take a little extra time on your appearance
I know as moms we often feel like there just isn’t enough time to focus on our appearance when we have so many other things to do or other humans to get ready, but it is okay to make the time for yourself too. If you like wearing mascara put on the mascara, if you feel beautiful when you wear your hair down brush it out and wear it down. Make the time to do those little things that make you feel good about your looks, you deserve to feel good. If you must put your mascara on while your little one is in their highchair having a snack, do it. Make the time to care about your appearance its going to help you feel better about yourself all day, we all want to feel beautiful.
7. Play your favorite songs and dance around the house
If you love music play some songs that usually put you in a good mood and dance around. You can play them while you’re doing your tasks around the house or while you’re playing with your little one. Whenever you feel the need. Music is a great mood booster, and it will be fun to let your hair down and have some fun dancing.
8. Keep in touch with your girl squad and mommy friends
Make sure to always have a few friends close to you that love you and support you. It’s good to have friends that you can talk to about any insecurities you might be having that will help to uplift you and remind you that you’re amazing. Try to make a few good friends that are moms as well who may understand your feelings and might have a few tips on how they overcome certain situations. Don’t feel pressured to follow all advice your given but It will feel good to have people around that want to help you with the same things they are going through.
9. Let go of anyone negative in your life
If there is anyone in your life that has a negative attitude all the time or enjoys being negative with you, you should let them go. When you are working on boosting your self- esteem your not going to need people who don’t see it as important or who are going to distract you from the work your trying to do on yourself.
10. Get cute and take some selfies
Taking a moment to do your makeup or put on a cute outfit is already a step towards feeling good but you can also take some selfies to help as well. You can share them with your spouse or your friends and enjoy the compliments or you can keep them for yourself just as a reminder that you are beautiful. You are always beautiful but seeing your self dolled up is a great confidence booster.
11. Schedule a day for pampering yourself
Let your spouse watch your little one or drop them off at grandmas and take a day to just focus on you. You could get a manicure and pedicure, change your hair, go to your favorite coffee spot, go shopping at your favorite retailer, go to the spa, anything that is going to make you feel good. Use the day to enjoy just being you. Say yes to yourself all day.
Meditation can help you to let go of any stress you’re having about your appearance and help you to refocus on the great things about yourself. It helps to put you in a better head space so you can be less likely to think negatively. You can find the time to meditate when your little one is napping.
13. Make time for your hobbies
Any hobbies that you may have put off since becoming a parent gradually start to ease them back into your life. The things that excite you are important, and you deserve to still enjoy them. You may not have the whole day to focus on it like before, but you can still find a way to make time for things that are important to you. You are going to feel good when you are doing things you love.
14. Write down positive things you love about yourself
If you’re ever feeling down about yourself grab a pen and just write down a few things you love about yourself or write about some things you are happy you over came in your life. You can even write these things on sticky notes and put them somewhere as a reminder. Having that visual list in front of you with all these positive things will uplift and encourage you to keep moving forward.
15. Celebrate small wins
When you realize that you made yourself a priority and did something for you, acknowledge it and celebrate it. Feeling so positively about doing nice things for yourself or making time for yourself will encourage you to keep doing it.
16. Get a confidence coach
There are great people out there that are educated and dedicated to helping people get their confidence back. You could hire a confidence coach once a month or a few times a week that will give you the tools you need to stay grounded, get to the bottom of your feelings and help you live a life with more confidence.
17. Don’t compare yourself to others
It is so easy to feel unhappy when you are comparing yourself to other people. You can’t look at what people are showing you on social media or go off what you assume about their lives and let that make you feel less than other people. You must focus on your life and want to change things about yourself because they are truly what you want, not because you’re trying to be like anyone else. It is nothing wrong with being inspired by other moms and women but make sure your only inspired and not feeling like you must replicate anything.
18. Remember that no one is perfect
No one on this earth is perfect. We are all uniquely made, we all make mistakes, and we all have self-doubts sometimes. Never think you must be perfect or look perfect. You just need to be happy with you and confident being you.
19. Hold your head up high
On the days where you are thinking or talking negatively about yourself, and nothing is seeming to boost your confidence choose happiness and hold your head high anyways. Some days you may not feel 100 percent and that is okay, but you do not have to hold your head down and dwell on it. The more opportunities you take to choose happiness in your day the more chances you will have to turn your mindset and your day around.
20. Join groups on social media or groups in your community
Find mom groups in your community or on the web that want to bring people together that need uplifting and encouragement. It can help you to see that you’re not the only mom who may be needing a boost of confidence and give you a chance to connect with people that are dealing with your same situation. Sometimes a stranger can relate to you on something more than someone that you have known for years. The more people you have supporting you the better.
I know I am not the only pregnant person guilty of googling almost everything when I am unsure about something. Whenever I am not exactly sure I pull out my phone and I say, “You know what let me google it.” Some things I google I am sure are ridiculous and some things are probably valid questions. Either way I know there are some pregnant women out there that can relate to me and have probably googled some of the same things. I want to share ten things I’ve googled and maybe they will give you a laugh or you have googled the same things.
Is it safe to eat Feta cheese? I love pizza so much and a lot of my favorite pizzas have feta cheese on them and so though I don’t indulge in feta cheese and have it all the time I do enjoy it from time to time when pregnant and I have seen that cooked and pasteurized cheese is okay to eat. When you get pregnant your told to stay away from a lot of foods like soft cheeses and deli meats and it can put quite the pressure on hungry mamas who just want to enjoy their cravings in peace.
Is Byrne Dairy ice cream pasteurized? Okay, I am a foodie I know, and ice cream is one of my favorite snacks that I love to eat alone or now with my daughter sometimes while we watch her favorite shows. Every flavor of Byrne Dairy ice cream is safe to eat for pregnant women and believe me I am so thankful, even the ones with cookie dough. Such a treat, I enjoy it whenever I can with no shame, and it is the best.
How can I tell if I am having a boy or a girl? When you get the news that a new baby is on the way one of the first things you think about is, I wonder what the gender will be. There are so many sayings that float around for things you can look out for to see whether it’s a girl or boy like what you crave to eat or how low you carry and honestly its entertaining to try to guess in your mind what you’re going to have. I am one of those moms who wants to know right way I do not want to wait until the shower or gender reveal. I like the sense of connection it gives me to the baby once I know the gender.
How can I relieve the pressure on my pelvic? The pressure you can get on your pelvic from your growing baby is no joke and running to the bathroom or wobbling to the bathroom every few minutes can be a bit annoying. This second pregnancy the pelvic pressure has kicked in way sooner than it did my first pregnancy and I have been really needing some relief. I am ordering a belly band to try to help, and I love laying on my left side, it seems to be the most comfortable way for me to be.
Does nonalcoholic beer or wine not have any alcohol? Having a nice glass of wine or a cold beer is a pleasure that is surely missed for those of us who like to have a sip every now and then and now there are a lot of companies who are creating drinks with no alcohol to help with that. I haven’t tried any of them yet. I usually just put some cranberry juice in a wine glass and pretend its wine sometimes. If I want something carbonated, I just get a case of sparkling water but on special occasions it’s nice to buy a bottle of sparkling apple juice or sparkling cranberry to feel a little fancier.
How much caffeine is to much when pregnant? Your often told to try not to drink or have too much caffeine when you’re pregnant to help your developing baby and for some of us that is sad news. I am a huge coffee lover but the whole first trimester of pregnancy I do not have coffee, once the second trimester comes, I have one nice cup a day and it is honestly one of my favorite parts of my day.
How do I get rid of or prevent stretch marks? One thing that comes with your beautiful growing belly can be stretch marks and for some it can be hard to watch your body change that way. You see all types of tips online about different oils, lotions, and body butters you can use and whatever you want to try, I say try it. I have stretch marks and I rub lotion and vitamin E oil on my belly every day, but I am not really bothered by them. Sometimes I may think of how to get rid of them, but I know its okay to embrace this part of pregnancy and not stress to much about it.
How am I supposed to breathe when in labor? When you’re getting your mind prepared to deliver you’re baby you start thinking of all types of ways to help the process be a little smoother for you since your mostly terrified. When I had my first baby, I did not investigate breathing exercises or anything because I figured I would just be screaming the whole time. I do regret not knowing anything about breathing techniques and will take a class or watch some videos on It this time around. I think it will help me have a little more control over what I am feeling and things like that.
Will my toddler wean herself off my boob or will she breast feed forever? My almost 2-year-old is still on my boob and even though my milk supply is practically gone due to my pregnancy she really enjoys using my boobs for comfort at night when she is going to sleep. I was a bit dramatic when I googled this, but I am ready for her to stop so I can have a break before her sibling gets here. I have no intention on breast feeding two children at once.
Is the second delivery faster than your first one? I have been told multiple times that the second delivery is going to go way quicker than the first which makes me happy since I was in labor so long the first time but also scares me a bit because I don’t want the baby to just fly out either. I really don’t know if this saying is true or not, but I am close to finding out.
Using google or any internet sources to settle your pregnancy brain I would say is totally fine just try not to get to wrapped up in or to anxious about any of your concerns. Keep an open line of communication with your doctors and anyone helping you with your pregnancy and know that your pregnancy and your delivery story is going to be completely unique to you and some things that other women experience you may not experience them at all, or you may find a tribe of women who experienced exactly what you have. All your questions are okay and being worried or nervous is apart of the process. Let the web be a fun outlet for you and just enjoy your pregnancy journey as much as you can!
Now that I am halfway through my first pregnancy, I wanted to share a little about how your second pregnancy can feel a lot different from your first and share some of the differences I have been experiencing so far. I found out very early that I was pregnant and this time around the symptoms started immediately for me, I would have to run to the bathroom every few minutes and that’s how I knew something was up.
People would tell me all the time prior that every pregnancy is different and that you can try to compare them but there is usually something that will stand out that is different. With my first pregnancy I didn’t start to show where it was visible to others until I was about 4 months. I could see it and know it was there, but I was able to cover it with loose fitted blouses and sweaters until I was ready to announce. With my second pregnancy I was showing at 5 months pregnant, I believe it was just bloat at the time, but it was poking out to where others could see it and not just me. I could not believe it. There was no hiding this second pregnancy at all. I was told this is due to your abdominal and uterine muscles being more laxed since they have already stretched before. My first pregnancy I was extremely nauseous and sick the entire first trimester, throwing up every single day to the point where I lost 15 pounds. It wasn’t just in the morning either it was any time of day, and it was awful. This time around I still got nauseous and did a good amount of puking the first trimester, but the puking was not as bad as the first time at all.
I felt more tired the second time around in the beginning. I also can blame that on chasing around an almost two-year-old, there were times and still are times where I just want to sit down in one spot and do nothing for a little while but often with a little one running around there is always something you need to get up for. Whether it be them asking for milk, snacks, ripping off their pamper or trying to get into something they shouldn’t. If you have any help at all make sure to utilize it and enjoy some resting moments to yourself. Try your best to sleep when they are sleeping or if you can’t sleep at least do something small for yourself like take a warm shower or binge some shows, anything to help you relax.
Once the second trimester began, I started to feel right back to my normal self and was still amazed at how much bigger I looked compared to the first time. One thing I noticed right away is that my belly is also much lower this time around which causes me to feel a lot of pressure on my pelvic, pressure that I didn’t feel until the third trimester with my first. This has been uncomfortable and so I am thinking about finding a belly band to hopefully give me some relief. The pressure also makes you run to the bathroom a lot and makes some of your normal daily movements or activities a little bit tougher and slows you down. Something I’m hearing a lot though is that all this discomfort is going to pay off because my second labor experience may be a lot quicker due to my body already being prepared and loosened up more than it was the first time. Remind yourself daily that all this discomfort is going to be so worth it when you see your baby looking up at you and when you see your first child bonding with their new sibling.
Telling everyone I was pregnant was such a joy and having all the love and support is helpful in helping ease your mind into the huge transition. I do feel like the first time your pregnant everyone around you that cares may be overly protective of you checking on you every day and the second time they will still check but maybe not as often. Its not because they don’t care they just know your more seasoned and experienced now. As far as your own emotions you’re probably going to feel a lot less anxious the second time around. My first pregnancy I was anxious about everything, and everything had to be perfect before my little one got here, this time around I am much more laxed and taking my sweet time with a lot of things. I would be scared to eat a bunch of different things and just stressing myself out the first time and this time I’m just happy to finish my first child’s leftovers. I do spend a bit of time daydreaming about how my two kids are going to get along, wondering how my first child will handle the change since we have such a close bond and I try to imagine how I’m going to be with them as a mother of two. I think about how I’m going to split my time between two children, set routines, find time for myself, and just have a system that makes sense for all of us. The thoughts can get overwhelming and there are highs and lows in all of it, but I know we will get through it and do what works best for our family.
I look forward to feeling more experienced this time around, I have been breast feeding for almost two years and I know my journey won’t be the same with baby number two, but I at least feel more confident this time. I feel more at ease thinking about the caring part of things and I just want to encourage other moms to get to this space too. I am of course nervous about delivery and hopeful everything will go well but at least we are more prepared for what to expect and know how to handle things better. You have done it; your first baby is doing amazing and you’re going to do just as good with your new arrival too.
You’re going to be a mommy of two and this time when a lot of things come your way, you’re going to know exactly what to do and will probably shock yourself with how much you already know. You got this mama enjoy your growing family.
You’re feeling a little sick and running to the bathroom every few minutes what is going on? You grab a pregnancy test just for the heck of it and wow it reads your pregnant! Yep, that’s my story! I was not planning to have baby number two so soon and honestly wasn’t completely sure if I wanted more kids at all and then this amazing message reads across the screen saying I’m pregnant, and just like that with a toddler almost two years old running around another one is now baking in the oven. I was excited but after a few days it hit me like woah I am really going to be a mommy of two.
My nerves started to go insane, and the over thinking started to set in. My beautiful toddler Marley has me chasing her all over the house, starting tantrums and ripping off her diaper and running every chance she gets. I would sit and think how I am going to do this I am already tired and exhausted sometimes just chasing her around. How am I going to make a routine that works, I am still trying to figure out this one with sleep regressions and molars coming in. I honestly felt nervous and just hopeful that I would do a good job in such a huge transition with our little family.
As weeks went on, I feel like something in me just clicked and said hey you got this! I think time is the only thing that really helps to settle your mind because the baby is coming no matter what. I went to my first appointment saw the sonogram and heard the heartbeat and that was the motivation I needed. This baby is going to need me to figure it out and things won’t have to be perfect because they are going to love me regardless. Once you realize that things become much easier, and you allow the process to just flow.
Don’t get me wrong there were some nights where I would stare at my baby girl and think things like was it to soon? Am I taking away my bonding time with her to early? Isn’t she going to miss it being just us? Will she like being a big sister? Will I be able to divide my time equally between her and her sibling? Will the new baby feel all the love and affection that my first baby got? And more questions that would just fill my head repeatedly. Though these were all valid questions I knew that I would have to acknowledge those feelings early and plan to make sure I do my best to help her and me with this transition.
Its okay to have those thoughts and its okay to worry but we must know that we have plenty of love to go around and somehow us moms can always make it happen. I have been telling Marley that there is a baby in my belly, and she has been super excited about it. She comes over and kisses or rubs my belly and if we ask her where her sibling is she will come over and hug my stomach. I think she will be a great big sister and I think just telling them ahead of time is helpful even if it feels like they don’t fully understand. I also bought her a baby doll to take care of herself so she can understand to be gentle with babies. I think as I take care of her sibling sometimes, I will encourage her to take care of her baby too, to give her something to do and to help her to not feel left out. It appears as a mom we will think of things that are going to work best for us, our schedule, and our family, that’s just what we do. Don’t be to hard on yourself about any of it our babies will feel the love and that’s all that matters.
So, if you’re just finding out your having baby number two embrace the news, embrace the journey of your pregnancy, don’t over think it and everything is going to work out just as it needs to. The same way you were probably terrified when you brought your first little one home from the hospital and you handled it, figured things out and got through it you’re going to do the same thing this time around and now your more experienced and more prepared than you think. Congratulations on baby number two you’re going to do great and seeing your two babies love each other is going to be such a reward for you.