With tears now gone, I have no signal to the outside
That I am drowning on the inside
Breathing normal but my beats are skipping
No one can see that my heart is ripping
Feeling alone but I’m surrounded
My mind keeps drifting, I can’t stay grounded
Guess I’ll stay here for a while
Imagining your smile
I can feel your hugs and your warmth around me
Millions of people down here yet you’ve found me
I’ll stay in my thoughts as long as I need
Pretending I’m present since no one can see
Looks like I’m here but I’m with grief…
If you have lost someone you love while pregnant or during your journey of motherhood, please know that are not alone. You are allowed to feel sadness, loneliness, pain, anger, and any emotion that comes with your grief and still be a great mother to your babies. Allow yourself to be human even when it feels like you must be a superhero. Grief can feel very lonely so try to make sure you have a good support system or at least one person you can talk to when your to overwhelmed. You’re doing a great job, take one day at a time and everything is going to be okay. You got this mama!
Your little one or all your little ones are finally taking a nap! I don’t even think I can express in words the feeling of oh thank goodness a mom feels when her kiddies are napping peacefully. From the moment a mama wakes up to the moment she goes to sleep she is constantly doing something for her children, prepping something for her children or doing something with her children and for working mamas before their shift and after their shift they are most likely in mommy mode. Mommy mode is pretty much a full-time job. Before you have a kid one of the main sayings you hear is make sure you sleep when the baby sleeps, so that you try to catch up on at least some of the rest you’re missing but honestly many of us do not sleep during that time and use the kids napping as a way to get things done. Now that I have two children, I have learned very quickly that there are honestly just not enough hours in the day to get all the things I would want to get done so if I am not exhausted, I see it as a good time to be productive or not so productive, however I feel that day. Here ‘s a list of a few things I do and I’m sure a lot of other moms do when we have the free time.
Take a shower
Believe it or not moms miss showers. I know sounds gross but when you have little ones especially, sometimes you just don’t feel like a shower goes over other needs or things that you need to get done. If you have a small baby, you don’t want to leave them unattended and if you have a toddler and a little one your to terrified to leave them alone together. Sometimes you can be so busy cleaning, cooking scheduling appointments or chasing around your kids that you totally forget to shower. When those kids finally rest their eyes it’s the perfect time to grab your favorite soaps and bath or shower aroma therapy items and just enjoy a nice warm shower. Even it’s for a few short minutes it can really boost your mood and make you feel a lot better during the day.
Go to the bathroom
When you have kids, privacy becomes a thing of the past most of the time and most of the time when you go to the bathroom you have visitors. You don’t get to just handle your business in peace or it can be interrupted by a loud noise, cry or a little person asking you a million questions the whole time. So yep, mamas do use nap time to poo, sorry not sorry.
Eat snacks
I have so many treats that I just don’t want to share sometimes but I always end up sharing. Well, when my 2-year-old is napping that is my chance to raid the kitchen and eat ice cream, chips anything I can enjoy in peace. Something about little greedy fingers not reaching for my snack just makes it taste so much better.
Watch TV or YouTube
My TV is mostly on fun educational shows and animated dancing shows all day so much that I can hear it when it’s not even playing so when I get the chance to turn it off and watch something with real humans it is such a treat. I use nap time to binge any shows I need to catch up on or look for stuff on YouTube to watch and enjoy.
Check social media apps
I love scrolling social media and cracking up at mom videos and internet news and drama when I get a moment of free time. It’s nice to be able to hear it and focus on the jokes. I also respond to any messages from friends or check the funny videos they sent me that I didn’t get chance to see yet.
Clean the house
When the kids are napping, I find this as a good time to sweep and mop the floors, do the dishes, do some organizing and just tidy up a bit. Kids are masters of making a mess in under 5 minutes and if you don’t try to tackle the messes daily things can really pile up. Whenever I try to organize stuff while my toddler is present most of the time, she is undoing whatever I’m doing, so I just give in and do something else.
Schedule appointments and pay bills
Once the house is quiet it gives me a chance make some calls without having to shh my toddler so it’s a great opportunity to handle any business. It can get frustrating trying to talk on the phone and baby is screaming or when you’re trying to use your laptop and your kiddie is trying to sit on your lap.
Hobbies
Pulling out any hobbies you have when you have some alone time is so good for your mental health. I usually am blogging while the kids are napping. Its hard to fit in the things that you love to do that are just for you when your so focused on your little ones, but it is so important to find or make the time.
Watches the kids sleep
I must say I am guilty of pulling out my phone and snapping pics and videos of my little ones resting peacefully. I swear it is one of the most precious moments and so sometimes you can catch yourself just staring at them with a big goofy smile on your face because your just so happy they are okay and that they are yours.
Do nothing at all
After being so productive all day and after being pulled so many directions in the day sometimes it’s nice to just do nothing. To literally just sit there in peace, thankful for peace and silence or just thankful for everything.
Drink coffee or wine
A nice coffee made just the way you love it or a nice, chilled glass of wine when you have quiet time can be amazing. Anything that you love to have, have it when the kids are resting it is beautiful.
Sleep too
If you are tired and you just want to nap too, take your nap, and enjoy it. Some days I am just to burnt out to do anything besides lay down and take a nap too. Being a mommy who is sleep deprived is rough and it just doesn’t help you be the best you can be for you or your kiddies. Take your opportunities to rest when you need to and don’t feel guilty about it at all.
Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs on the planet some days. Sometimes your just tired and you want to just curl up on the couch and watch an uninterrupted movie or you just want to take a long nap or long shower, but you can’t because your baby is screaming from a tooth coming in or your toddler is jumping all over you because they want your undivided attention. Some days it’s simply just overwhelming and you may feel yourself wanting to cry.
When you’re a mom everyday isn’t picture perfect, everyday isn’t crafts day or a trip to the zoo. Some days are just filled with mess after mess to clean, tantrum after tantrum to tend to and chores after chores. On those rough days when your exhausted its good to take a moment for yourself and say some affirmations, give yourself a pep talk and remind yourself that you’re doing an amazing job simply because you’re trying. Affirmations are one of the most powerful tools because they don’t take a lot of time and effort it just takes saying it enough so that you truly begin to believe the positive things you’re saying. I wanted to share a few affirmations to help you when you’re overwhelmed. I also want you to know that feeling overwhelmed is totally normal and you’re not alone at all.
I don’t have to be a perfect mom, there is no such thing.
I am doing the best I can, and my kids think I am more than enough.
I was chosen to be my kids’ mom for a reason, and I have all I need within to meet their needs.
I have a supportive group of people in my life that I can ask for help if I need it.
Every part of mom life is not easy, and it doesn’t have to be.
It’s okay to feel any of the feelings I feel today whether they are good or bad.
I am grateful to be a mommy.
I am strong and I am patient with myself and with my children.
I will focus on the parts of today that bring me joy no matter how big or small.
I will do something for myself today and not just for my family.
I deserve a break, and to have a nice rest to be a better me tomorrow.
I am providing a home for my children that is a safe space filled with happiness, love and understanding.
I will not compare myself to other moms I see on social media or to other moms I know.
I will not set expectations for the day to high.
Taking care of myself is the first step to being able to take care of my children.
One bad day does not define who I am as a mother or make me a bad mom.
Even during the most chaotic moments in my home there is so much love here.
I am choosing to be happy and spread happiness to my children.
It is okay for my kids to see that I have other emotions besides happiness sometimes.
My children know how much I love them.
I am a mommy but that is not all I am.
I will be present with my children and appreciate the time we share.
I am doing an amazing job taking care of my kids.
I don’t have to have all the answers just because I’m a mom.
I am growing and evolving as a mom every day.
I will only speak positively about myself.
I am setting an amazing example for my children.
My children are blessed to have such a loving and devoted mother.
I am the only one who can give my children a happy mom.
Any challenges I face are making me a stronger and wiser mother.
I have a very positive impact on my children’s life.
Feeling overwhelmed sometimes shows that I am only human and that I don’t have to do it all, all the time.
My children will appreciate the effort I put into raising them.
I am not the only mom who needs or wishes for help sometimes.
Acknowledging my overwhelm is the first step towards change and seeking help.
If you are unsure of what it means to feel overwhelmed it’s when you just feel defeated completely, like you are drowning in whatever life, or the day has brought you. It is not a fun feeling and a lot of moms honestly feel overwhelmed and defeated a lot if they are not nurturing themselves, if they are taking on too much in one day or week, not getting the help they need or the rest they need to be the best versions of themselves for their children. You could feel completely fine and then out of nowhere the burn out just consumes you. In that moment that is when it is helpful to find a safe and private space and say your affirmations. You can say them with your eyes full of tears or with a big smile, it does not matter. You can say them in your bathroom, in the shower, lying in bed, your car, your closet, anywhere.
Affirmations help to change any negative thinking patterns we may be having, and they can really help us see our situations from a different perspective. Choosing affirmations that resonate with you and your situation gives you this new belief system that you can basically just pull out of your pocket whenever you want as a simple reminder that you are worthy of positive thinking and a positive life. They are a simple way to keep us encouraged and to help us get over self- sabotaging. It’s very easy to get caught up in what we think we should be like as a mom or what we think we are lacking especially when we are overwhelmed with all our mommy duties.
Let this post today remind you that you are doing an amazing job as a mommy and feel free to use as many of these affirmations as you need, as often as you need to help pull yourself out of the overwhelm you are feeling. You are not alone in your feelings, and you deserve your me time to say your affirmations.
Affirmations are positive statements you can say to yourself as often as you need to help you get rid of having self-sabotaging thoughts. The more you say these positive affirmations it can help train your brain to think more positively about yourself and your life. Before you go to bed at night you can take a moment to reflect about your day and once you have put your little ones down for rest you can say these positive statements to yourself to uplift you for a new way day.
I did my best today and I can let go of all thoughts from today
I can give myself permission to now do nothing but get some rest
Tomorrow is full of new possibilities
All the moments I had with my kids were precious and I am grateful for all of them
When I allow myself to get rest, I am a better me for my family
I look forward to relaxing my body and quieting my mind
I have so much to be thankful for
I am worthy of love and my kids love me
I breathe in a calm state of mind, and I exhale any stress and any worries
When I lay down for rest I am now in my happy place
I have strong faith in myself as a mom
Any mistakes I may have made today do not define me, I am learning and growing everyday
I deserve to care for myself and do things that make me happy
It is okay that I don’t know everything, I will make a way
I make my children feel loved and happy
I am constantly improving myself as a person and a mother
I will not focus on things that I have no control over
I am grateful for my body, and it deserves to recharge with a good night’s rest
Whatever does not serve me will not come with me into tomorrow
My journey with motherhood is unfolding just as it should
Choosing rest is choosing myself
I am exactly who my kids need me to be
I can feel calm and at ease now that the day is done
I have the power over all my thoughts and emotions
Peace is a priority for me
My bedroom is my sanctuary
My heart is relaxed and grateful
I can focus on my breathing and breathe in only positive energy
I am safe, I am loved, I am strong
I will relax every part of my body and allow myself to sleep because sleep is a priority for me
When you get the chance to lay down take in a few deep breathes with long exhales, relax your muscles and all your body, and try to let in relaxation as much as possible. Empty your racing mind with any thoughts about the day you had, or the day coming and just focus on the present moment. Embrace the relaxation that is coming to you and start to say some of these affirmations out loud. When you start to say them believe each word.
Affirmations only work if you believe them and believe that you are worthy of each statement you are saying. You can say as many of these as you need as often as you need every night, and you should start to feel a difference in the way that you see your days. Its going to give you a better sense of gratitude and a positive mindset for the start of your next day.
Being a mom can sometimes feel like a lot of work and can get overwhelming with all the tasks you have to do and all the needs you must fulfill and that is why it is important to find a time of day to just be still. Find a moment to stop running around too much or letting your mind wander to much and just appreciate peace and quiet. Find time in your day to just focus on you and bring attention to your thoughts. If your thoughts are negative use this time to re direct your energy and change those negative thoughts around. You don’t only have to use affirmations when you first wake up or when you go to sleep you can use any affirmations that work best for you any time of day when you have a moment to yourself.
Enjoy this new process of working on controlling your thoughts and know that it is okay to rest and get your sleep so you will be all you need to be for you and your little ones. Sleep well mama!
I know I am not the only pregnant person guilty of googling almost everything when I am unsure about something. Whenever I am not exactly sure I pull out my phone and I say, “You know what let me google it.” Some things I google I am sure are ridiculous and some things are probably valid questions. Either way I know there are some pregnant women out there that can relate to me and have probably googled some of the same things. I want to share ten things I’ve googled and maybe they will give you a laugh or you have googled the same things.
Is it safe to eat Feta cheese? I love pizza so much and a lot of my favorite pizzas have feta cheese on them and so though I don’t indulge in feta cheese and have it all the time I do enjoy it from time to time when pregnant and I have seen that cooked and pasteurized cheese is okay to eat. When you get pregnant your told to stay away from a lot of foods like soft cheeses and deli meats and it can put quite the pressure on hungry mamas who just want to enjoy their cravings in peace.
Is Byrne Dairy ice cream pasteurized? Okay, I am a foodie I know, and ice cream is one of my favorite snacks that I love to eat alone or now with my daughter sometimes while we watch her favorite shows. Every flavor of Byrne Dairy ice cream is safe to eat for pregnant women and believe me I am so thankful, even the ones with cookie dough. Such a treat, I enjoy it whenever I can with no shame, and it is the best.
How can I tell if I am having a boy or a girl? When you get the news that a new baby is on the way one of the first things you think about is, I wonder what the gender will be. There are so many sayings that float around for things you can look out for to see whether it’s a girl or boy like what you crave to eat or how low you carry and honestly its entertaining to try to guess in your mind what you’re going to have. I am one of those moms who wants to know right way I do not want to wait until the shower or gender reveal. I like the sense of connection it gives me to the baby once I know the gender.
How can I relieve the pressure on my pelvic? The pressure you can get on your pelvic from your growing baby is no joke and running to the bathroom or wobbling to the bathroom every few minutes can be a bit annoying. This second pregnancy the pelvic pressure has kicked in way sooner than it did my first pregnancy and I have been really needing some relief. I am ordering a belly band to try to help, and I love laying on my left side, it seems to be the most comfortable way for me to be.
Does nonalcoholic beer or wine not have any alcohol? Having a nice glass of wine or a cold beer is a pleasure that is surely missed for those of us who like to have a sip every now and then and now there are a lot of companies who are creating drinks with no alcohol to help with that. I haven’t tried any of them yet. I usually just put some cranberry juice in a wine glass and pretend its wine sometimes. If I want something carbonated, I just get a case of sparkling water but on special occasions it’s nice to buy a bottle of sparkling apple juice or sparkling cranberry to feel a little fancier.
How much caffeine is to much when pregnant? Your often told to try not to drink or have too much caffeine when you’re pregnant to help your developing baby and for some of us that is sad news. I am a huge coffee lover but the whole first trimester of pregnancy I do not have coffee, once the second trimester comes, I have one nice cup a day and it is honestly one of my favorite parts of my day.
How do I get rid of or prevent stretch marks? One thing that comes with your beautiful growing belly can be stretch marks and for some it can be hard to watch your body change that way. You see all types of tips online about different oils, lotions, and body butters you can use and whatever you want to try, I say try it. I have stretch marks and I rub lotion and vitamin E oil on my belly every day, but I am not really bothered by them. Sometimes I may think of how to get rid of them, but I know its okay to embrace this part of pregnancy and not stress to much about it.
How am I supposed to breathe when in labor? When you’re getting your mind prepared to deliver you’re baby you start thinking of all types of ways to help the process be a little smoother for you since your mostly terrified. When I had my first baby, I did not investigate breathing exercises or anything because I figured I would just be screaming the whole time. I do regret not knowing anything about breathing techniques and will take a class or watch some videos on It this time around. I think it will help me have a little more control over what I am feeling and things like that.
Will my toddler wean herself off my boob or will she breast feed forever? My almost 2-year-old is still on my boob and even though my milk supply is practically gone due to my pregnancy she really enjoys using my boobs for comfort at night when she is going to sleep. I was a bit dramatic when I googled this, but I am ready for her to stop so I can have a break before her sibling gets here. I have no intention on breast feeding two children at once.
Is the second delivery faster than your first one? I have been told multiple times that the second delivery is going to go way quicker than the first which makes me happy since I was in labor so long the first time but also scares me a bit because I don’t want the baby to just fly out either. I really don’t know if this saying is true or not, but I am close to finding out.
Using google or any internet sources to settle your pregnancy brain I would say is totally fine just try not to get to wrapped up in or to anxious about any of your concerns. Keep an open line of communication with your doctors and anyone helping you with your pregnancy and know that your pregnancy and your delivery story is going to be completely unique to you and some things that other women experience you may not experience them at all, or you may find a tribe of women who experienced exactly what you have. All your questions are okay and being worried or nervous is apart of the process. Let the web be a fun outlet for you and just enjoy your pregnancy journey as much as you can!
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