Once you become a mom it is very easy to get so lost in motherhood that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. You become super busy making sure your kid doesn’t need anything and one day you walk past the mirror and your like “Wow who is that?’’ You might have on a large graphic-tee your hair in a messy bun and even a stain on your shirt from when your kid splashed their drink on you at breakfast. It can be so easy to set our needs aside and not think about the things that once made us feel confident and happy with ourselves. Don’t worry you are still in there. The woman from before children is still in there and even though you are getting by day to day and making things happen for you and your family, the little things that bring you joy and confidence outside of all that are just as important. You deserve to feel confident and be proud of yourself. Being a mommy is apart of who you are of course but that’s not the only thing that makes you, you. If you’re struggling to think of ways to boost your self-esteem or haven’t even thought of it lately here is a list of things you can do to start working on boosting your self-esteem and bring yourself back to putting your needs as a priority.
1. Take care of your body
Make sure you are eating healthy foods, drinking your water, and getting the proper sleep that you need. If you are taking care of your body it is going to make you feel better and give you the energy you need to be motivated to do more things for yourself. When your preparing breakfast for your little one, take a banana for yourself too or drop it into a smoothie with some frozen fruit and milk or juice. You can drink your smoothie and prep breakfast for your kid at the same time. When you run to the kitchen to grab a snack for your kid grab a glass of water for yourself. You can even put a sticky note near the sink or on the fridge to remind you to drink your water. If getting all the sleep you need doesn’t seem like an option right now ask for help, if you have any help at all try to arrange ways to get some help so you can take a quick nap when you need to.
2. Practice positive self-talk
We can sometimes forget how powerful our words can be and how we can start to believe negative things that we say about ourselves. Anytime you catch yourself saying something negative about who you are as person or how you are as a mother or saying negative things about the way you look, make sure to stop yourself. Train yourself to be done with negative self-talk and only speak positively about yourself.
3. Challenge yourself to learn something new
As moms there is usually always something that we saw when we were scrolling on social media that we wish we could do. Find a post you recently liked where the person was doing something interesting to you and look it up and learn how to do it. It could be learning a new recipe, learning how to sew, craft or anything you think you might enjoy figuring out. Once you learn it, celebrate your new technique by rewarding yourself with something small. It always feels good to add on a new talent or skill and it makes us feel good about ourselves.
4. Read self-help books
Find a good self-help book that you can either listen to in your ears or read when you find some time alone. Self-help books can really help you with boosting your self- esteem. Take notes while you read if you can and try to write down any key take a way’s that you know you want to work harder on. You can also join book clubs to stay up to date with the best self-help books that are helping others.
5. Say your affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements we say to ourselves every day to take away self- sabotage. You can create these affirmations your self and have them cater to exactly what you feel you need to know and believe, or you can find them online. Try to say your affirmations every day either in the morning or at night or both if you have the time. Use them to uplift and motivate yourself as often as you need. For example, you can say statements like “I am exactly the mother my kids need me to be.” Or “Ï will make myself a priority.”
6. Take a little extra time on your appearance
I know as moms we often feel like there just isn’t enough time to focus on our appearance when we have so many other things to do or other humans to get ready, but it is okay to make the time for yourself too. If you like wearing mascara put on the mascara, if you feel beautiful when you wear your hair down brush it out and wear it down. Make the time to do those little things that make you feel good about your looks, you deserve to feel good. If you must put your mascara on while your little one is in their highchair having a snack, do it. Make the time to care about your appearance its going to help you feel better about yourself all day, we all want to feel beautiful.
7. Play your favorite songs and dance around the house
If you love music play some songs that usually put you in a good mood and dance around. You can play them while you’re doing your tasks around the house or while you’re playing with your little one. Whenever you feel the need. Music is a great mood booster, and it will be fun to let your hair down and have some fun dancing.
8. Keep in touch with your girl squad and mommy friends
Make sure to always have a few friends close to you that love you and support you. It’s good to have friends that you can talk to about any insecurities you might be having that will help to uplift you and remind you that you’re amazing. Try to make a few good friends that are moms as well who may understand your feelings and might have a few tips on how they overcome certain situations. Don’t feel pressured to follow all advice your given but It will feel good to have people around that want to help you with the same things they are going through.
9. Let go of anyone negative in your life
If there is anyone in your life that has a negative attitude all the time or enjoys being negative with you, you should let them go. When you are working on boosting your self- esteem your not going to need people who don’t see it as important or who are going to distract you from the work your trying to do on yourself.
10. Get cute and take some selfies
Taking a moment to do your makeup or put on a cute outfit is already a step towards feeling good but you can also take some selfies to help as well. You can share them with your spouse or your friends and enjoy the compliments or you can keep them for yourself just as a reminder that you are beautiful. You are always beautiful but seeing your self dolled up is a great confidence booster.
11. Schedule a day for pampering yourself
Let your spouse watch your little one or drop them off at grandmas and take a day to just focus on you. You could get a manicure and pedicure, change your hair, go to your favorite coffee spot, go shopping at your favorite retailer, go to the spa, anything that is going to make you feel good. Use the day to enjoy just being you. Say yes to yourself all day.
Meditation can help you to let go of any stress you’re having about your appearance and help you to refocus on the great things about yourself. It helps to put you in a better head space so you can be less likely to think negatively. You can find the time to meditate when your little one is napping.
13. Make time for your hobbies
Any hobbies that you may have put off since becoming a parent gradually start to ease them back into your life. The things that excite you are important, and you deserve to still enjoy them. You may not have the whole day to focus on it like before, but you can still find a way to make time for things that are important to you. You are going to feel good when you are doing things you love.
14. Write down positive things you love about yourself
If you’re ever feeling down about yourself grab a pen and just write down a few things you love about yourself or write about some things you are happy you over came in your life. You can even write these things on sticky notes and put them somewhere as a reminder. Having that visual list in front of you with all these positive things will uplift and encourage you to keep moving forward.
15. Celebrate small wins
When you realize that you made yourself a priority and did something for you, acknowledge it and celebrate it. Feeling so positively about doing nice things for yourself or making time for yourself will encourage you to keep doing it.
16. Get a confidence coach
There are great people out there that are educated and dedicated to helping people get their confidence back. You could hire a confidence coach once a month or a few times a week that will give you the tools you need to stay grounded, get to the bottom of your feelings and help you live a life with more confidence.
17. Don’t compare yourself to others
It is so easy to feel unhappy when you are comparing yourself to other people. You can’t look at what people are showing you on social media or go off what you assume about their lives and let that make you feel less than other people. You must focus on your life and want to change things about yourself because they are truly what you want, not because you’re trying to be like anyone else. It is nothing wrong with being inspired by other moms and women but make sure your only inspired and not feeling like you must replicate anything.
18. Remember that no one is perfect
No one on this earth is perfect. We are all uniquely made, we all make mistakes, and we all have self-doubts sometimes. Never think you must be perfect or look perfect. You just need to be happy with you and confident being you.
19. Hold your head up high
On the days where you are thinking or talking negatively about yourself, and nothing is seeming to boost your confidence choose happiness and hold your head high anyways. Some days you may not feel 100 percent and that is okay, but you do not have to hold your head down and dwell on it. The more opportunities you take to choose happiness in your day the more chances you will have to turn your mindset and your day around.
20. Join groups on social media or groups in your community
Find mom groups in your community or on the web that want to bring people together that need uplifting and encouragement. It can help you to see that you’re not the only mom who may be needing a boost of confidence and give you a chance to connect with people that are dealing with your same situation. Sometimes a stranger can relate to you on something more than someone that you have known for years. The more people you have supporting you the better.